When your child is ready to use the potty, it is often difficult to determine how to go about the process, especially if you are a new parent or your child is having a more difficult time toileting than your other children. I’ve come up with my 20 best toilet training tips to help you help your child succeed with the potty.
1. Determine if Your Child is Potty Ready
A lot of parents are unsure if their child is ready to start potty training. Most children are ready to begin between the age of 2 and 3 ½ however, instead of basing their readiness on age, look for signs such as their awareness and interest. When a child is aware of their wetness and telling/signaling to you that they are uncomfortable, this is a step in the ready direction. Another sign to look for is if they are interested or motivated to use the potty, wearing underpants, or watching others use and flush the toilet. Also consider if your child is able to keep a diaper dry for 2 hours or more, seeks out privacy when going to the bathroom in their diaper, able to follow simple directions, and can understand some words related to potty training such as “poo, pee, pull down, wash, flush.”
2. Use Potty Positivity & Openness
There is a lot of language around toilets that is negative or considered too dirty to talk about. Try not to use negative language such as “Ew” or “That’s yucky” as they have a negative connotation as well as not being negative about using diapers or calling them a “baby” when they don’t try the toilet. However, in order to make this a positive experience for your child, make toileting fun, open, and motivating. You might tell them things like, “You’re such a big boy using the potty just like your sister” or “Wearing underwear is fun! You can have superheroes on them too.” When you use positivity during toilet training, your child will be more receptive to learning. Try to keep that positivity up when they have accidents as well, which WILL happen. Say things such as, “Accidents happen but pee pee goes in the potty.” Be as supportive as possible. Never yell or shame your child for having an accident.
3. Model How for Them
Remember how I suggested being open with your child? Here’s your chance! One of the best ways for children to learn about toileting is by watching others on the toilet so that they can become comfortable with it and learn the steps. Having your child watch their older siblings can also be a huge motivator for them because they often want to imitate what they do. This can also be a great bonding experience as a family if the child can sit on their little potty and you on the big potty while reading a book. I understand that no everyone is open to doing this with their child and of course, that is understandable. If you do try and it helps then great!
4. Set a Potty Routine
Children thrive on routine. That’s why if you implement a routine for potty training, your child is more likely to be successful. Think about your workout routine or morning routine. You have a set time and strategies to get everything done and once it’s complete, you feel good about it. This can also be true for your child. If they can expect that when your phone alarm goes off with a duck sound every 30 minutes, it’s time to try on the potty. It becomes routine, nature, and part of their everyday. Having a set potty routine will also allow you to monitor how long they can go before having to use the toilet and gradually increasing how often they try sitting on the potty if they are beginning to be successful.
5. Breaking It Down
Toileting may seem like second nature to you. I mean how often do you really think about all the different things you have to do while on the toilet? Next time you’re on there, really think about it. You pull down pants, sit down, pee or poop, unroll toilet paper, rip off the toilet paper, wipe yourself, flush, stand up, pull up pants. Then, washing hands is five more steps in itself. For a toddler, all those steps may seem overwhelming to learn. Therefore, help your child learn the steps broken down. Have them take off their pants before the bath, practice flushing the toilet lever, rip off pieces of toilet paper and put in the toilet. These little steps will allow them to feel more comfortable learning how to toilet if they know all the steps individually.
6. Use Bathroom Talk They Understand
When you refer to different aspects of toileting, make sure you consistently use the same language to express yourself so that your child doesn’t get confused. If you call pooping “making poopies” or peeing “peepees” be consistent with it and make sure other caregivers are as well. Also, tell your child that mommy/daddy need to know when they need to go pee. Identify when they have to go by their body language and by prompting them “Are you going to pee?”. This way they can begin to recognize the urge of what it feels like to have to go to the bathroom.
7. Show Them Where It Goes
Does your child have difficulty understanding the purpose of the toilet? Showing your child where their poop goes may help them begin to associate the toilet with going to the bathroom. After you change their diaper, bring them to the toilet and show them or have them help you dump the poop into the toilet and flush. You could even go as far as taking a glass of water with yellow food coloring for them to pour into the toilet to help with further association with pee. Another way to help them start to connect toileting to peeing/pooping is to begin changing their diaper in the bathroom.
8. Make it Magic!
The best way for children to learn is through play and having fun! There are stickers online that you can buy to stick to the inside of your child’s training potty and when they pee, it will change color or the image will appear like magic! You can also put a few drops of food coloring in the toilet before they go so that they can watch the changing colors when they go as well. After all, what's more motivating than magic?
9. Switch to Pull ups
When your child is learning, begin the transition to pull-ups. These will help them feel more independent during this process if they are able to pull their own diaper up and down. This will also make things easier for you as their parent because they have more control over the process and will be more willing to go to the potty after going in their pullup.
10. Naked Potty Use
Children often love being naked! This is a great way to help them also become more aware of when they need to go to the bathroom because they no longer have a diaper on to go into and they will notice. Play with your little one in the backyard or living room while they are playing naked. Ask them every ten minutes if they want to use the potty or see if they become aware when they have to go. You can also bring their potty outside for them to use and serve as a visual cue for them as well.
11. Motivation is Key
Just like with anything you want your toddler to do, they have to be motivated. One way to get them motivated is to use a sticker chart. Every time they sit on the potty, whether they pee, poop, or nothing comes out, have them put a sticker on their chart, give them plenty of praise, and even do a “hooray potty dance” to keep your child motivated and positive. Some parents also have their child earn a small toy after going on the potty ten times as a reward or will use a candy as a reward for going on the potty. However, be aware that too many rewards can also be detrimental and should be used sparingly.
12. Help Them Feel Secure
When children feel insecure, they often shut down or run away from a situation. In order to avoid this, place a stool under their feet so that they do not feel like they are falling when sitting on the big toilet. You can also use a toilet seat insert for your child to make the potty hole smaller for their little tushy. This can also be a great motivator for children because they can help pick out the character they want on the seat.
13. Don't Deny Liquids
Sometime parents feel like that when their child is potty training they should restrict their liquids so that don’t have to go as often or have less of a chance of having an accident. However, it is actually better to increase your child’s fluid intake in order to give them more opportunities to succeed when potty training. It’s a good idea to limit liquids before bed however so that your little one isn’t waking you up or wetting the bed.
14. Make Sure All Caregivers Are On the Same Page
When you have multiple people looking after your child, it is important that everyone is on the same page. You don’t want one person taking them to use the potty every 2 hours and another every 30 minutes. Your child needs consistency to learn. Make sure you inform other caregivers including grandparents, family, babysitters etc about the consistent language used, strategies that are currently working, the child’s toileting routine, and even how to praise them or do the “potty dance.”
15. Praise All Attempts
Even if your child does not go pee or poop when they sit on the potty, make sure to praise them a lot just for trying. This will help them feel more comfortable and not so scared about the potty as it will be a more rewarding experience.
16. Stay Calm & Exercise Patience
Potty training can be a stressful time for parents and children as there is sure to be some resistance, crying, accidents, and discomfort during some aspects of the process. Children can also get thrown off by change in the routine if your family goes on a long weekend to a new place or transitions to school. No matter how many accidents your child has, make sure to try to be patient and calm with them. They are learning a whole new skill and while your first child may have learned how to go on the toilet in one day, some children take a longer time to learn and require more assistance.
17. Read or Watch About It
Reading a book together about the potty can be another fun way for your child to learn about how kids use the potty in a less threatening way. There are also tons of videos online about using the potty or songs to sing to. Here’s one I found to be a good story about a big brother teaching his little brother how to go on the potty https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UH2Sm0Wj3Dw
18. Use Distractions!
If your child is nervous sitting on the toilet or has trouble sitting for more than a minute, resort to distractions including:
- Reading a picture book to them
- Singing songs together
- Turn them backwards on the toilet and allow them to color with washable markers on the seat
- Give them their favorite toy to play with
- Blow bubbles
- Play a game of eye spy
19. Don’t Force It!
If your child takes longer than others to toilet train, remember that it’s OK! Every child will potty train in their own time. When you’re up against resistance, the best thing to do is be patient, implement strategies, but don’t force it. Children sense when their parents are stressed out or are frustrated at them. Try to always implement positive language and root for them no matter what!
20. Ask Your Child Questions
If your child is having a difficult time with toileting, ask them simple questions about the process to determine what may be holding them back. They may be nervous about something simple like the flushing noise, which can be a quick fix.
The Best Tips for Successful Potty Training are Routine, Positivity, and Making it Motivating!
Are You Concerned About Your Child’s Ability to Use the Toilet?
Sometimes there are other factors that are preventing the child from using the toilet such as sound sensitivity with the flushing noise or fears around pooping in the big toilet. I’ve heard some parents say that their child will not go near the toilet because they think they will get sucked into it. If your child is over 3, not yet potty trained, and you have tried everything, please talk to your pediatrician for suggestions and an occupational therapy referral if necessary to provide you with individualized strategies for your child.
Best,
Sarah